Monday, October 10, 2011

The Horror Files: Devils and Witches

Rosemary's Baby (1968): First off, this film might just be propaganda for how amazing 60s mod was.  How do you not love Mia Farrow's haircut in the film?  I think Rosemary should have left her husband then and there.  She's such a sweet young lady, but if you kind of remember having unspeakable indiscretions when you were passed out, and your husband decides to tell you that he decided to make that baby you've been wanting, you don't stay with him; if he was telling the truth then that's rape!  But he wasn't telling the truth because he was making you have the child of Satan.
 The Exorcist (1973):  A few ground rules, don't ever show this to a child.  It will traumatize them for the rest of their life.  It one of the scariest films I've ever seen hands down, and I will probably go to my grave saying that.  You know what it's about, it's in the title.  Watch at your own expense and thank me for not posting images of Linda Blair.
The Omen (1976): "It's all for you Damien."  In case you've been living under a rock, this is one of the greatest horror movies of all time.  It's chilling.  Damien is one of the many reasons that I don't trust kids in horror films.  Never trust a brooding child!  Oh by the way, he's the child of Satan.  That's why he's so evil!
Suspiria (1977): You know that moment in Juno when they're discussing the masters of gore and Juno is totally in defense of Dario Argento?  Well I might be too.  This film is stunning.  First and foremost, it's a horror film done in technicolor and it might just be the last of its kind!  Second, it's about a ballet academy with a lovely pink apartment setting!  I personally love when horror films start off with such beautiful images, but about 10 minutes into the film you'll understand why anyone would call Argento the best of anything. Oh, and it's about a witches coven too, cue why weird stuff keeps happening.
The Blair Witch Project (1999): Well it starts off slow.  And then it goes slow. And then it goes slow.  But when it ends you're left wondering what the heck just happened!  Then people started talking and that's how you make one of the most successful horror films of all time with little to no budget.  And a few years later, the world is still inspired to do mockumentary's.

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