Things I Learned From High School Movies- Part 1

Alright, we've all seen a teen movie or two. And if you're already done with high school, you know that they are entirely accurate. If you haven't experienced high school yet, beware... In honor of this back to school season, I am going to clue you in.

Part 1: The Most Popular Girl in School

Chris Hargensen. Claire Standish. Heathers (Chandler, Duke, McNamara). Cher Horowitz. Regina George. All of them just happen to be the most popular girls at their school, but are their lives perfect?

Chris Hargensen was a mega-b**** in Carrie! Pig's blood was her idea! I'd love to say that she really grew as a person in the end, but telekinesis is also a b****. Sorry Chris, not really.

Lesson: Don't you ever pour pig's blood on anybody, and if you know someone that will mock you when you "become a woman" you best stay away from them.

Claire Standish (the Breakfast Club) isn't exactly a mean girl, but if you spend an entire day in detention with her don't expect her to say "hi" to you in the halls. Then again she did give her diamond earring (just the one) to the school rebel.

Lesson:Don't believe that girl with dandruff when she says she's telling the truth and you can learn how to put on lipstick with your breasts. Oh and Claire's "a fat girl's name."

Next up the Heathers (Heathers). I don't want to tell you that if you're name is Heather that you are going to die, but if you keep acting like one then it might just happen; also, buy your own corn nuts! Another rule, if you are the most popular girl in school and all of your minions share your first name, please for the love of God play croquet! It's much more wicked than cheerleading.

Lesson: If you hate your friends kill them and stage it as a suicide. Or kill the boy that's convincing you to do it.

Cher Horowitz (Clueless) is a blessing in disguise. Sure she's the most popular girl in school, she's a little stuck up, and has a computerized stylist, but there's more beneath the surface. She wants to do something good for mankind! And we can respect that. She also loves makeovers (more on that later). Girl went through hard times.

Lesson: Don't wear "an Alaia" to a party in the valley because you might get mugged later and forced down on your dress. Don't try to change someone because they might turn into a snob. If a guy you like dresses better than you, you can bring nothing to the relationship (because he's gay); and don't try to snuggle with him during "Sporatacus." And if you're ex step brother is Paul Rudd it's okay to date him!

"Regina George is an evil dictator" (Mean Girls). No joke. She is the ultimate Queen B because she can put anyone and everyone in their place (the girl made her parents switch rooms with her)! She knows how to win back an ex, start terrible rumors, and even get an entire school's girl population to turn on each other. She's wicked.Lesson: If the most popular girl in school compliments something of your's she is lying and will make fun of you and it later! If you like her ex, you either don't be her friend, or learn to hate him. If you start acting like her and her friends, you've gone too far, and you're "cold, shiny, hard plastic!" Most importantly, "on Wednesdays we wear pink."

These are important lessons, but remember: there's more to come.